Leaving Lasso meant leaving behind a future I had spent years working toward.
I had put a lot of myself into building it. There was a financial future attached to it, but there was also the story I had been telling myself about my life. I was building something. I was going somewhere. I understood how those things were supposed to fit together.
Then I reached a point where I knew I needed to leave.
I chose to walk away from the money I had imagined receiving. I wanted room to heal, even if that meant being by myself and starting again without the things I had expected to carry forward.
It changed my life. The healing that followed took four years.
For a long time, I had understood achievement as something I had to make happen through my own effort and understanding. If I could figure enough things out and work hard enough, I could build the life I wanted. That way of thinking put a tremendous amount of importance on the outcome. Everything I was doing was carrying the weight of what I hoped it would become.
My faith in Jesus changed where I looked for that security.
It took years to learn how to lean on Him. I could believe in God and still try to carry my entire life through my own understanding. Learning to trust Him reached deeper than agreeing with an idea. It changed how I felt inside my own life.
Today, I feel loved and protected. I feel grateful even in moments I would never have chosen for myself. My connection to Christ has become the treasure I build my life around.
I still love making things. I care about the intention behind them and the good they can make possible. Those things have a different place in my life now. They grow out of something I already have.
When I think about leaving Lasso, I think about how much of my future I was willing to release. I also think about the life I have now, and how deeply grateful I am to be here.
I left a future I had worked for.
I'm grateful for the life I have now.
